My little guy will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. Here in the last week, he's started locking eyes with me. In the past couple of days, he's started smiling at me when i talk to him. That, my friends, is the most amazing, best feeling in the entire world.
There are so many things I've learned in the past 5 weeks:
- I've learned that motherhood is faking that you know what you're doing and trying things until you find one that works. Most of the time, I feel like I'm "flying by the seat of my pants." :)
- I've learned that your "gut" works. If you feel that's what you need to do, as a mother, you should probably do it. If you feel that's the right way to burp him, if you feel that it's time for some gas medicine, if you feel that he needs more food and that's why he's screaming bloody murder, you're probably right. And, if you're not, then you'll learn.
- I've learned that you will make mistakes. I've learned that most mistakes aren't going to hurt anything. You just live and you learn, and you remember not to do it again!
- I've learned that it's okay for him to cry.
- I've learned that it's the best feeling in the world when someone gives him back to me and he's instantly comforted.
- I've learned that, while a schedule is important, (and we HAVE gotten him on one) he doesn't always stick to it. And that's okay.
- I've learned, now that he's gained his weight back, never to wake him to eat. He'll be okay. :)
- I've learned that (not that I was on time before he was born) it takes me A LOT longer to get out the door now that he's here.
- I've learned how to do so many things with a baby in one hand.
- I've learned that sometimes, you've got to just laugh.
- I've learned that if anyone else on this entire earth peed, pooped, or spit up on me, I'd be ticked. But him... not so much. haha :)
- I've learned that getting through 2 outfits a day is a good day... and poop does not come out with Dreft. or OxiClean. :-/
- I've learned that I will never understand how a single mom could do this. Because of my husband's work schedule, I am like a "single mom" some days. He leaves for work at 5 pm, gets home around 7:00-7:30 am, sleeps until 2:30-3:00 pm, and has to leave for work again at 5 pm. Those days, we only have about 2 hours with him. That includes him showering, getting ready, and us fixing dinner. Those days are hard. Really hard. I could not, and I repeat, could NOT imagine doing this every day, and not having a light at the end of the tunnel. I can always look forward to the days that he is off, I never have more than three days in a row where he's "on." I am so thankful that my husband has a job. He works SO hard so that I don't have to. Right now, I am a stay at home mom, and that would NEVER happen without him and his drive to provide for our family. I could never thank him enough, and I don't thank him enough. He is my heart. Well, now he shares it with another little guy, but I think he's okay with that. :)
- I've learned that I've never, in my entire life, needed my mother more. I don't care how tired I am of visitors coming over (while this has quieted down now), I can always use my mommy coming over. I have never desired her to be with me, to help me, to talk to me, to laugh with me, to cry with me more than I have in the past five weeks. When she's not with me, I miss her. When she is with me, I am comforted. I don't think any one could understand the bond there is between a mother and a daughter, unless you've felt it yourself. I couldn't imagine going through this without her here. I've never been more thankful to have her in my life. Ever. This thing that I've learned, has been the most surprising to me. I never thought I would run back to her, as I have. There's just something about it. Unexplainable. :)
- Finally. I've learned that I LOVE being a mommy. I've always knew I would, and I've always wanted to be a mommy. I've also learned that being a mommy is in no way easy. On one hand, it comes naturally, but on the other hand, though I've known so much about babies, there are still so many things that I'm dumbfounded over. (which goes back to the "flying by the seat of your pants" thing) It's crazy to think that this is going to be my life from now on. I'm never going to to go back to not having a child. I no longer come first. Andrew and I no longer come first. He comes first. Life has changed.
I've learned that it's amazing.